Deciding to go for therapy can be a difficult decision. You have to be brave enough to be vulnerable and open up about your thoughts and feelings. You go in hoping to be heard, understood, and most of all, for clarity and relief. But sometimes things don’t go as expected. If you’ve had a disappointing experience with therapy, you’re not alone-and it makes sense that you’d be hesitant to try it again. But know this-one bad experience does not mean therapy isn’t for you. Here are some reasons to try again after a setback.
1. Therapy Is a Personal Fit-It’s Okay If One Therapist Didn’t Click
Like any relationship, the connection between you and your therapist is key to success. Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. Just because one therapist or type of therapy didn’t work, doesn’t mean the next one won’t. Think of finding a therapist like finding a good pair of shoes: some are uncomfortable, others simply don’t fit, but when you find the right match, it makes all the difference. When a therapist isn’t a good fit, it’s usually not a reflection of you or your willingness to work on yourself. It might just mean that their particular style or personality didn’t align with your needs. You deserve to feel safe, understood, and respected. Don’t be afraid to shop around until you find someone who makes you feel that way.
2. Therapy Approaches Are Diverse-There’s One for You
If the method of therapy you tried didn’t seem effective, remember that there are many different therapeutic approaches out there. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for example, is just one of many modalities. Other options include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), psychodynamic therapy, and approaches like art therapy or somatic therapies. Each approach works in different ways to address different kinds of struggles. If you’ve had a bad experience, it might be because the style wasn’t the right match for what you were going through. Exploring other approaches may open doors to new healing.
3. Healing Is Not Linear-You Deserve Support In the Ups and Downs
Therapy isn’t a quick fix, and the path to healing usually has setbacks. Marsha Linehan said, “The bottom line is that if you are in hell, the only way out is to go through a period of sustained misery. Misery is, of course, much better than hell, but it is painful nonetheless. By refusing to accept the misery that it takes to climb out of hell, you end up falling back into hell repeatedly, only to have to start over and over again.” This can be frustrating. However, this doesn’t mean healing is out of reach. Sometimes, it’s about finding the right tools and support systems to navigate the twists and turns of treatment. If you felt invalidated or judged after a bad therapy experience, it might seem easier to just go it alone. But you deserve support, and the right therapist can help you find new perspectives and coping strategies for navigating life’s difficulties.
4. It’s Okay to Advocate for Yourself
If something isn’t working in therapy, you have every right to speak up. Sometimes, therapists miss the mark (we are human too), and it’s okay to tell them what’s not helping or what you need more of. The best therapists will welcome this feedback and adjust their approach to better suit your needs. If you’re not ready to try therapy again, consider other avenues of support like group therapy or support groups. Sometimes the collective experience of others going through similar challenges can be just as empowering.
5. You Are Worth the Effort
Most importantly, remember that seeking help is an act of self-care, and you are worth that effort. It can feel disheartening when therapy doesn’t meet your expectations, but your emotional well-being deserves attention. Bad experiences can shake our trust, but healing and support are possible. You are not broken just because one attempt didn’t work out. You are worth finding the right therapist, the right method, and the right path toward a richer and more meaningful life.
If you’ve had a bad experience with therapy, give yourself the grace to feel disappointed-but don’t let that disappointment define your entire therapeutic journey. There are many compassionate, competent therapists out there, and many different methods that can help you. By staying open and continuing to seek the support you deserve, you increase your chances of success. Don’t give up on your mental health. Stay strong, and keep looking-you are worth it.
If you’ve had a difficult experience with therapy and are looking for resources or guidance on where to turn next, there are online directories like Psychology Today, Therapist.com, TherapyDen, or inclusive organizations like Open Path Collective that can help you find professionals who specialize in your specific needs.