No Boundaries

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What you think is important.

How you feel has value.

You are enough.

Imagine yourself driving to work as a familiar red octagon appears in the road asking that you stop. What do you do? Now envision yourself driving along a country road en route to a quiet family wedding when a fence blocks your path. What do you do? Now picture yourself winding along the coast when the ocean appears in your path. What do you do?

We all know the rules of the road….or should. The obvious answer for all three questions is to stop, yes? But we can all see that neighborhood 4 way stop or familiar, often uncrowded intersection where the majority of travelers do a “rolling stop” because they’re in a hurry or are in a habit. Some get out of their car at the fence looking for the end or for how far away the end is trying to determine if they can simply go around or pull a gate to go through rather than stopping, turning around, and veering a different direction. However, I think it’s safe to say, that the ocean is stopping 99.9% of us.

I have illustrated these 3 scenarios in increasing extreme obviousness for a reason. Rules, boundaries, and limits are hard. You create a set of rules, but they don’t always get followed. Exception to the rule is a phrase for a reason. You establish lines, but sometimes lines get blurred. So, how do you clue others in to see the ocean rather than the stop sign or the fence? You set boundaries.

What are boundaries? Do you have them? What do they look like? I feel boundaries are different for everyone, but everyone needs them. You need you own personal set of ‘rules of the road’ for yourself/your life and you need a system for how you let others know (think stop signs and fences) when they are approaching or crossing one. Step one: know what they are. How did they invent stop signs? I’m going to guess people had wrecks, were run over, or everyone got confused when they came to a 4 way juncture. So, how do you “invent” your own boundaries: think of where you need some signage in your life and that’s a pretty good start. Remember that what you think is important, how you feel has value, and you are enough. And if you need someone to listen or help you set up and navigate roadblocks, I’d love to listen.

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