I don’t know about you, but when I loaded up my first child to take her home from the hospital, I wasn’t given an instruction manual. I wasn’t told how often she would nurse (though they did give suggestions on how frequently to offer…she had other plans!), or how many diapers she would need the first few weeks while I was healing, or when she would start (and consistently) sleep through the night. I wasn’t given a diagram on how to tell if crying meant feed me, change me, nurse me, or life just currently sucks. It took time figuring each other out and getting into a routine (I see you all laughing!). And here’s the thing, which my second child affirmed for me even further as she was nothing like my first, if they had given me that manual, I might as well have tossed it out the window as my husband hit the freeway on-ramp…because they are all different.
The second thing I learned is that I don’t need all the “advice” everyone offers up. What I needed, early on especially but also as they grow, is a support system who just listened, nodded, or understood the battle scars of nursing every 45 minutes all night amidst “sleeping” in a chair in a corner in a nursery without the judgement, urge to advise, or to point out how my solution in the dead of night was off target. Having listeners who not only lend an ear, but also really get “all the mom things”, that is priceless.
As I ventured into private practice here at Wellspring, I have found a passion for working with other moms. I have had many postpartum sessions with unexpected tiny guests, hungry visitors, and sleep deprived adults. I feel you. I love being a listening ear for other mothers, knowing that hard as those close to you try, they aren’t in it with you even if they are (apologies to the dads, in laws, nannies!).
I am gearing up to jumpstart the moms’ support group for the fall/winter. Moms’ group is intended to carve out a safe space free of judgement, textbook “advice”, and feeling as if you can’t tell those around you the things that cross your mind at 3am. I’m looking forward to building a support community and loving the listening!